


Running from fears

by laurathedemigod



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brotherly Love, Demons, Gen, POV Outsider, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, case fic (kind of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2018-11-05 17:18:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11017959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurathedemigod/pseuds/laurathedemigod
Summary: One day, Dean Winchester finds a greasy haired teenage girl stealing from his motel room. A girl who seems to keep running into trouble.





	1. Chapter 1

  Ava was hiding in the bush in the motel's parking lot. She could feel the adrenaline run through her veins as it always did before she broke into one of the rooms. Even though she had done this a million times in the past 10 months, it still left her feeling worthless and ashamed of herself. What other choice did she have though? She was charged with murder and theft and wanted by the police in at least two states. After the accident, she had lost everything. Nowhere and no one to go to. She was alone on the streets with nothing but her guilt and regrets. Ava had done what she could to survive and escape, which meant stealing and sometimes begging for money. She hated it, but didn't know what else to do.

  The motels were an easy target. The locks were always old and easy to break through, and it was not uncommon for old truck drivers to leave cash or vulnerable things in their rooms. Ava's stomach growled and the thought of a meal made her get to her feet. Slowly, she made her way to the motel and tried to look as unsuspicious as possible. One by one she checked the windows for any sign of movement but it looked save enough. Not that she'd expected anyone to be in there. The parking lot had been empty, and she doubted anyone would be walking this long from the city. Except her, of course. Ava pulled a stolen debit card out from her pocket and began working with the lock. A short 5 minutes later, she was through. Ava smirked. It got easier every time.

  The room she had broken into consisted two single beds, a small table, a lousy kitchen, and a door to a small bathroom. It was obviously rent by two males judging by the mess and the Half-eaten sandwich on the kitchen counter. Ava sniffed at the sandwich and took a bite after concluding that it was relatively fresh. Then she took the sandwich in one hand and began searching through the motel room with the other. The more Ava went through, the more confused she got. These guys had the most random wardrobe she had ever seen. Suits and shirts seemed pretty normal, but Janitor uniforms? Nurse uniforms? Clerical shirts? And was that McDonald uniform in the back? The heck?! Who were these guys? Ava closed the wardrobe carefully and considered if she should leave. This seemed like the type of guys you didn't want to mess with. As she was about to leave though, she spotted a backpack half hidden under one of the beds and couldn't resist to take a look. Ava kneeled and pulled the bag out. It was heavy but that only made her more excited. She unzipped the bag pack and pulled out... a 2 pound salt box?? Ava raised her eyebrow but then shrugged. It wasn't the weirdest thing she had found in here. She was about to empty the bag completely when she heard a noise from behind her. Ava froze. At that moment she realized how long she had been in here. Why hadn't she been more careful? Why hadn't she heard the sound of a car parking? She heard another metallic clicking noise and felt her heart skip a beat when she realized it was the sound of a gun cock. With slow movements, she dropped what she had in her hands and raised them over her head. Then she turned around to face the owner of the room. His cold face expression didn't help her confidence. The man in front of her was tall and muscular and looked like he was in his late twenties. He was wearing an oversized leather jacket, jeans, hunting boots and had short dark blond hair and a frown on his face that didn't look very welcoming.

  "Who are you?" He asked in a cold and demanding tone. Ava didn't answer at first. She was afraid a scream or a wimp would come out if she tried. "Huh?!" He said and raised the gun higher.

  "N-nobody!" Ava shrieked frightened. She normally didn't get caught, but when she did she was able to talk her out of trouble or was quick enough to get away. This time though, Ava wasn't so sure she would be that lucky. "I'm sorry! I haven't taken anything, I promise! Please, let me go, you won't ever see me again, just please, don't call the cops." Ava tried to read the man's expression but it was impossible. He was might as well be about to let her go as to shoot her.

  "What's your name, kid?" He asked still using the same harsh tone.

  "Ava." The man nodded. Then he lowered his gun which made her sigh in relief.

  "Okay, Ava, this thing you have going? It's bad. Real bad. So I suggest you go back to your family and forget everything about stealing." Ava nodded eagerly though she knew it wasn't a possibility. She was about to thank him, when he raised his eyebrow at something lying on the floor. "Is that.. is that my sandwich?" He said confused and nodded at the floor where Ava had left it.

  "Oh, um.. yeah" She said and felt how her face went hot. Could this even get more embarrassing? The man sighed and rolled his eyes. Then he pulled a wallet out from his jacket. Ava hesitated at the weird gesture.

  "I want you to leave this place." He said and pulled 20 dollars out of the wallet. "And I want you to go find someone who can help you. Family? Relatives? I don't care. Just, this isn't the right way to live, are we clear?" He said probably realizing that Ava wasn't just any teenage troublemaker. For a moment, Ava didn't know what to do. She wasn't familiar with this weird kindness and it made her uneasy. One thing was sure though; she wasn't going back like the man told her to. She couldn't. "Are we clear?" He said again but this time Ava nodded reluctant. What else could she do?

  "Yes." She said and accepted the money. To make sure that he knew she was great full, Ava looked the man in the eyes and smiled. Then she walked past him and out of the door. Right before she reached it though, she saw something that made stop in her tracks. Slowly, her heart began beating faster as she saw what the man had brought back from town. On the table near the door was a newspaper and a cup of coffee. That seemed like a perfectly normal thing to bring back, but it was the picture on the front page made her freeze. _Three mysterious deaths in one week._  Under the title was a picture of a middle aged man captured by a store camera. He was holding a knife in his hand, and his jacket was stained with blood. In the short time Ava was standing there, she only caught a few words of the article circled by the motel man. But it was enough. She looked alarmed at him before turning around and running out of the door.

 

                                                                                                                     ***

On an old green bench in the local park, a teenage girl with greasy blond hair was sitting reading the yesterday's paper. The picture on the front page had been haunting her since the first time she saw it in the motel room. For the past three hours, she had been sitting there, reading the article over and over, hoping that it would give her some answers or leads at least, but she was still lost. For what seemed like the millions of time, she glanced at the picture and looked carefully at the thing that had made her freeze in the first place. It was only a small detail. Easy to overlook, and if it wasn't because Ava had seen it so many times in her nightmares, she wouldn't have thought twice about it. The man on the picture had his back turned to the camera, but his head was looking at something behind him. If Ava looked carefully at his face, it was clear to see that the man's eyes were pit black. The police officer from the article underneath had explained that it was a flicker made by the camera, and that it was completely normal. Ava new better though. Later in the article, the officer would warn the readers that the serial killer, who had killed three people so far, was very experienced and hard to track. After every murder, he would leave a scent of sulfur behind, but nothing else. The officer recommended everyone who smelled sulfur on unexpected places to call the police. Their lives could be in danger. The last part had made Ava shiver. Once again, memories started to flow through her mind and even as Ava tried to shut them out, she couldn't prevent them from coming.

  _She was back in her old house. It was silent. Way too silent. The housed reeked of sulfur and the metallic smell of blood. It was a mess in there. Blood and bits and parts of what used to be her family was laying everywhere._

No.

Ava wouldn't think of it. Not now. She wasn't strong enough to go through another breakdown. She couldn't afford to live in the past anymore. It was too dangerous. A strong headache shot through her head and she clutched it in pain.

  " _your fault._ " a female voice said crystal clear in her mind. " _family dead because of you._ " Ava groaned weakly, and suddenly felt like all her terrifying memories came into her head like a wave of sorrow. Ava couldn't hold it anymore. It started as small sobs but it escalated quickly, and soon, she was sobbing loudly. Her life was a mess. She wasn't strong enough to carry these memories and thoughts all by herself. Ava stayed on the bench and kept crying until she felt like she had run dry. A few people passing by would give her sad or weird looks, but no one stopped to help her. They probably thought she was a depressed teenagers who was trying to get over another brake up.

  When she was done crying, Ava tiredly got to her feet. More lost than ever, she started walking in random directions, not knowing where she was heading. One thing she did know though; Ava had to find the serial killer who'd killed three people in town. If she was lucky, he would have answers about her family. She was sure this murderer was not the same as the thing that'd killed her family, but that didn't matter. She had done enough research during the months after her family's death, to recognize a demon when she saw one. And maybe this one could give her some answers. If not, she would keep looking until she found the one who could. After all, that was the reason why she hadn't given up yet.

  The sun was setting, and soon it would get dark. Ava had been wandering around in town for the past hours. She used some of the money the man had given her in the motel room, but mostly, she was just walking around without purpose. It was not like people knew she was homeless. Sure, she was a little scrawny and greasy because of the months on the streets, but once in a while, she would find a motel room and 'borrow' some of their clothes and use their shower. In that way, Ava was pretty good at blending in. Ava walked into an alley and sat down for a moment. If the headache would just stop throbbing like that, she would be able to figure out what to do next. She hadn't had a headache this bad since... Suddenly a sharp pain shot through her skull, and she clutched her eyes shut with a groan.

  " _Get up._ " The voice said crystal clear in her mind. " _The Winchesters are here_." Ava got to her feet a few seconds later, when her head didn't feel like it was exploding anymore. It had been like this since the accident. A throbbing headache followed by weird voices in her head. Or rather voice. Usually it would give her advices, other times it just reminded her of her pathetic life. She'd learned long ago that she couldn't always trust the voice. Sometimes it would give her weird advices that made her end up in awkward situations. Other times again, the voice would help her to decisions that saved her life. For a long time she was terrified she going crazy, hell, she still was. She had just learned to ignore it.

  A noise in the dark alley made Ava jump. She turned around quickly, but no one was there. It didn't release the feeling she wasn't alone though. She'd better get out of this place... Ava heard a man clear his throat behind her, and she turned around slowly. The man was short and bold but well-built and Ava recognized him from the newspaper. Then he blinked once and his eyes turned black.

  "Hey there." The demon said casually and nodded as greetings. Ava was frozen to the ground and just starred at his face in horror. The demon looked annoyed. "Stop staring at me like that, you knew I was coming. We have some business I have to finish after all." After getting over the shock of his face, Ava moved nervously. She was surprised. This was the second demon she had ever met and it wanted to talk business with her? The first one definitely didn't want to talk before having fun killing her whole family.

  "W-what?" She said in a tiny voice, which probably only made the demon even more pissed.

  "Well, what do you think, moron? We need you. The Winchesters are here, and they better not find me, or I'll make sure you get a hell of a lot more to think about." The demon grabbed Ava's jacket in a threatening way, but was cut off in the action of whatever he was about to do, by a familiar male voice.

  "Hey! Douchebag! Leave the girl alone, or I swear, I will cut you through." The demon turned around and aggressively shoved Ava aside as he saw the man with the knife.

  "Winchester." He growled and Ava gasped when she realized it was the man from the motel room. Great. Just the one she was looking for.. As the Winchester guy kept the demon distracted, another, even taller, man came sneaking up from behind. He moved in a way that made Ava sure he had done this a million times before. With one big move, he grabbed the demon and stuck a knife in its ribcage, taking the demon by surprise. The demon made a surprised exclaim and fell to the ground. Dead. Ava starred at the body of the demon, then at the two men, not believing how easily they had killed it off. As soon as the taller guy had made sure the demon was dead, he rushed to Ava's side.

  "Hey, don't be scared, we won't hurt you." He said in a calming voice. "Are you hurt?" He sounded concerned, which took Ava by surprise. No one had talked to her like that since... before the accident. She shook her head in response to the man after a moment of hesitation, but she wouldn't meet his eyes.

  "This is not a good place to be at this time of night, kid." The man from the motel room informed her. He didn't seem to recognize her. "You don't know what things-" He cut himself off realizing who he was talking to. "-Ava?!" His voice was filled with disbelief. Ava didn't know what to say. 'Hi' didn't really seem to cut it, so she just kept silent. The taller guy looked confused from Ava to the man.

  "What? You know this girl?"

  "Dude, that's the kid who broke into our freaking motel room." The taller man widened his eyes and exclaimed a quiet. "Oh."

  "I'm sorry." Ava quickly said apologizing. "I know it was wrong, I just-"

  "What the hell are you still doing here?" The man cut her off. "I thought I told you to go back to your family." Ava hesitated and tried to avoid making eye contact. What could she tell them? The truth? No way that was going to happen.

  "I- I'm sorry." Ava said again. They were all silent for a moment, and Ava looked back at the dead demon. They'd taken it out. Just like that, like they had done it a million times before. Ava had never heard of a demon killing weapon before and she got the feeling there was a lot of things these men knew that she didn't. "I saw it's eyes." she said changing the topic. "The black eyes." Ava shivered by the thought and the two men exchanged glances. Then the taller one cleared his throat.

  "It was a demon." Ava looked up at him when he spoke, then glanced at the ground.

  "yeah, I- uh, I know." The man raised an eyebrow but didn't comment, hoping that Ava would elaborate by herself. "It talked to me." she told him and that seemed to wake up the men, who now, was under Ava's full attention.

  "What did it say." They asked at the same time, and Ava looked at the taller, who she felt more comfortable with.

  "It said.. it told me that he had some business to be done, and that they needed my help. And then, then it said the Winchesters were looking for him and that I had to make sure they didn't find him." it was the first time in months Ava had said this much, and under the speech, the two men's frown had turned deeper and deeper, and their look darker and more confused. Then the guy from the motel room looked at the dead body and snorted gloomily.

  "Well, too late for that." The taller rolled his eyes then frowned.

  "Do you know what he meant by what he said?" but Ava just shook her head, having no idea. Then she whimpered when she heard the sound of sirens.

  "We should get out of here." The taller said worried and turned to Ava. "Do you have any place to go to? Family? Friends?" Ava hesitated. Then shook her head.

  "No," she finally said. "Not close by anyway." the motel guy didn't seem to take that as an answer and asked her instead.

  "How far?" Ava shrugged,

  "8-9 hours from here I guess." The two guys exchanged looks and it seemed like they were having a silent conversation. Then the taller looked at her with kind eyes.

  "If you’re comfortable with it, you can stay at our room tonight. Then we'll drive you home tomorrow." Ava felt her stomach turn into ice as she imagined how that would go.

  "No, I can't go home. Not ever." she said a little too fast. The motel man sighed.

  "Kid, we've had this discussion before; you can't live like this. You should be in school and be worrying about your popularity instead of where to sleep next." The taller nodded in agreement

  "Whatever happened, there's always a way out. And running doesn't help." he added in concern. But Ava didn't catch that. All she could think of was her returning home which she had promised herself she wouldn't ever do.

  "How can you be so sure about that? You don't know what I've been going through!"

  "Just trust us." Ava hesitated. She was so tired of being on the run and these guys made it sound like it was the easiest thing to go back. Not believing herself, she nodded resignedly and the brothers looked relieved.

  "We should get going then. This place will be overrun by cops any second now." The three of them then moved away from the body and out of the ally while looking for police light.

  "I'm Sam by the way" the taller said, "and this's my brother Dean."


	2. Chapter 2

 

 They were all silent on the ride back to the room. Ava was sitting in the back of an old black car, which reminded her of a government vehicle from the 60s. It was getting late and the dim street lamps from the road- that once in a while lit up the car- would have made her sleepy, but she wasn't in this moment. She was staring into the backs of Dean who was driving silently and Sam who was checking his email. Ava didn't know if she was supposed to say anything. Maybe a thank you would have been good, but Ava felt awkward talking to them. After so much time alone, she had come to enjoy herself as her only company and she wasn't used to keeping conversations running. Definitely not with two men who probably saw her as a stupid kid.

  Ava snapped out of her thoughts as Dean turned on the car radio and a classic rock band began playing. She didn't know the song, but it was nice with something to listen to. Ava hadn't been in a car for several months now, and even though she was wasn't comfortable sitting in the car owned by two men she had just met and even stolen from, she felt kinda safe.

  As the song's chorus was about to come up, Dean turned up the volume and began humming the melody in a way that made Ava smile. He received a very disapproving look from his brother though but Dean ignored him.

  "Dude, com' on," Sam complained and the older Winchester shook his head.

  "You're really no fun Sam," he said, but turned the volume a bit down. After a 20min drive they reached the motel which looked at lot shadier in the dark than when Ava had been there earlier.

  "So- uh," Sam said awkwardly as they entered the room. "You can sleep on the couch. I guess." he looked questionable at his older brother for support but Dean just shrugged. "You need anything else?" Sam tried again, "cold? Hungry? Uh... Wanna shower?" Ava shrugged and shook her head but then changed her mind.

  "I could use a shower actually, if you don't mind," she stated not remembering the last time she had washed her hair. "Thanks Sam." She smiled shyly and vanished into the bathroom. As soon as the door was closed, she heard the brother’s voices.

  "This is weird," Dean said and Sam groaned in agreement.

  "Yeah, tell me about it. I feel like a creep having a teenage girl sleep here."

  Ava turned on the shower, and felt the warm water run down her body. She had a headache. Actually she’d had it for a while now, but she excused it as being because of the crazy events that had happened over the last couple of days. Ava tried to collect her thought. All this was just too insane. Nothing much had happened the past 10 months and then suddenly, she bumps into a demon killer and his brother and gets attacked by a demon who tells her she’s needed for something. And not only that, the brothers also want to take her back to her aunt who’s probably terrified of her and’s gonna get her arrested and then she’ll end up in prison for the rest of her life. Ava took a deep breath. Her head was hurting and all this stressing only made it worse. 10 months ago, her biggest worries were the SATs, which she had probably missed by now. Ava smiled at the thought, but then frowned as she realized something. What was going to happen when she returned? What would she do when the cops came looking for her? Ava moved uncomfortable in the shower. Was she really gonna do this? Just turn herself in? Because agreeing to go back was basically the same as turning herself in, wasn’t it? Maybe it would be best if she just left in the middle of the night without the brothers noticing it? As soon as the last thought had passed her mind, a wave of pain and dizziness went through her and Ava gasped in pain. 

 _Stay_.

Then the pain was gone. Ava blinked. Then she took a shaky breath. What the hell was going on with her? It was the fifth time she’d heard the voice today and it made her uneasy. Ava didn’t want it in her head and she had tried, really tried to shut it out. This was stupid, Ava thought resignedly. She shouldn’t let a voice in her head control her. She could make her own decisions couldn’t she? She was strong after all, how else could she have survived 10 months on the streets? Ava smiled to herself and felt proud as she decided to ignore the voice and forget its advice.

  After the shower, Ava placed herself on the couch and hesitated before saying goodnight to Sam and Dean who were on their laptop and reading an old book. Sam smiled quickly back, and Dean replied with another quiet goodnight.   

                                                                                                          ***

 

  Ava woke up with a startle. It felt like no more than a second ago she had closed her eyes, but the motel room was all dark and completely silent. Ava's confidence had gone away as soon as she fell asleep, and she was now left with a rapid beating heart and an unsteady breath. She was covered in sweat, but was too afraid push off the protecting blanket. She'd been back again. Back in her dream. Visited the horrors from her past that were too terrifying for her sanity. The darkness surrounding her seemed thicker, almost suffocating, and Ava could feel the panic rise. She needed to get out. Needed a distraction so she could escape the memories that were threatening to take over. With shaking limps, Ava managed to get up and out of the room.

  The air was fresh and cold and Ava's bare feet were freezing. It didn't bother her though. It was taking all her power not to break down and crying of fear and exhaustion. Instead, she began running. In the beginning, her pace was fast and desperate, but after some time, the only thing she could think of was her hurting feet and lungs, and she slowed down a little. She had done these night-runs a million times before, and it was, according to her, the best way to cure nightmares. She could feel them slipping away, and instead being replaced by pain and exhaustion. After hours of running, Ava had calmed down a little. She kept thinking of what the voice had said. It wanted her to stay, but all of Ava’s instincts told her not to. She would end up in prison if she went home. Everyone would fear her, and Ava couldn’t bear that thought. She had to leave, didn’t she? The sun was beginning to rise, and Ava knew she had to get back to the room and fetch her stuff before the brothers woke up. She had to hurry.

  It was dawn when Ava got back. The birds had been singing for some time now, but otherwise, it was completely quiet. When Ava reached the motel room, she found the door open. Sam was leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed.

  Ups.

  His facial expression was grim and maybe a little worried, but not angry.

  "Didn't think you'd come back." He stated and Ava looked at her feet, somewhat feeling embarrassed.

  "I wasn't running away," she tried, but even though Sam's face stayed neutral, she knew he wasn't convinced.

  "Maybe not," he said, "but you  _were_  running from something." he glanced at Ava's bare feet to prove his point; it looked like she'd left the house in a rush in the middle of the night.

  "I had a nightmare" Ava explained but immediately wished she hadn't brought it up. "It's nothing though," She added, hoping Sam would drop the subject. Of course he didn't.

  "Doesn't seem like nothing. You must have been pretty upset leaving the room like that." Sam's face was pending but not demanding and the worry in his gaze made Ava look away.

  "I don't want to talk about it." She said after a moment of hesitation. Sam nodding slowly then scoffed.

  "Well, I can't force you." Ava looked at him gratefully and he smiled quickly.

  "I'm gonna pick up some breakfast; Dean's still sleeping. You wonna come?" Ava hesitated but then nodded. So much for the runaway plan.

  She quickly got her shoes and jacket and followed Sam to the impala. Sam was pretty nice for an old guy, and if Ava's life hadn't been so messed up, maybe they could have been friends.

  As she placed herself in the front seat besides Sam, she frowned slightly as she felt a stinging pain in her forehead. Ava quickly shook her head to get rid of it but the headache only got worse. Then, as Sam started the engine, Ava gasped in pain. For a couple of seconds, she felt like her eyes were being pushed out of her braking scull. Instead of being scared and in pain though, Ava somehow felt angry. It was boiling up inside of her, and she got the sudden urge to hurt someone. No, Ava didn't want to hurt just someone. She wanted to hurt Sam.

  Ava gasped in pain and clutched her head, and it took all her power not to punch Sam in the face when he asked her if she was okay. She didn't though, and then, all of a sudden, the pain and anger was gone. Ava inhaled deeply and was left confused and alarmed. Sam looked at her worried and suggested they should turn back, but Ava declined with a hesitant no; she was fine.

                                                                                                                  

They parked the car in the parking lot of a breakfast diner next to a small outdoor area with benches and a tiny playground. Inside the diner, the line was short and after 15 minutes, they had three bags of food and were on their way out. Neither Ava nor Sam had said much, but when Ava closed the door behind her, she could feel Sam's hand on her shoulder.

  "Come on, we should talk." Instead of leading her to the car, Sam headed towards the benches next to the diner. Ava looked questionable at him but placed herself on the table with her feet on the bench, next to Sam.

  "I know you don't want to talk about your nightmare," Sam started, "but sometimes it's good to get this kind of stuff off your chest. Whatever it is, I'm sure you don't have to carry it all by yourself." Ava stayed silent and looked at her feet. Honestly, she was afraid of what would happen if she shared her past with anyone. Ava would probably hate herself even more, and maybe Sam would too.

  After a while of waiting Sam tried again. "Does it have anything to do with why you can't go back? Why you knew the man in the alley was a demon?" Ava felt a lump in her throat because that was almost too on point. She took a deep shallow breath and kept looking at her feet. For Sam, that was answer enough, and he nodded.

  "If you don't want to tell me, I get it, I really do, but I'm only trying to help. You won't get any better if you keep it to yourself, I can see it's eating you up." Ava felt the lump grow bigger. "You need to accept what happened and forgive yourself." At that Ava snorted.

  "I can never forgive myself," she said with a shaky voice, "not ever." Then she finally looked at Sam with tearful eyes. "You don't know what I've done. If you did, you'd probably hand me over to the cops." Sam smiled sadly,

  "Don't be so sure about that, I've done some pretty bad things myself, stuff I've had a hard time forgiving myself for." Ava laughed bitterly,

  "yeah? Well, at least you didn't kill your family!" Ava didn't know what reaction she’d expected from Sam. Maybe shock or disgust, but he just looked at her with a neutral expression. Ava lost it. She couldn't hold her emotions back anymore, and tears began streaming down her face. "I tried to stop myself from hurting them, but I couldn't! I was awake, but I couldn't control my body, and I watched as I cut my whole family into pieces!" Ava looked desperate at Sam, "there was... so much blood everywhere. I see it every time I close my eyes; the mess, the iron-smell, the silence- everything."

  Ava's breathing was quick and unsteady. Her voice had calmed a little but the despair was clear on her face. "My sister. She was- she was only seven, and I loved her. I took care of her, and she thought I was a hero. I keep seeing her terrified and glassy eyes when she saw me kill our parents, or her heartbreaking screams as I began cutting her." Ava couldn't say more, but she didn't need to. The worst was off her chest and even though she felt terrible, she also felt a little lighter.

  Sam's face was grim and he looked a little disgusted. Not by Ava though; by her story. He knew just too well, that Ava wasn't the one to blame for what happened to her family.

  "Ava, I am so sorry with what happened to your family, but you can't blame yourself. You were not the one who killed them." Ava just stared out in empty air, and Sam wondered if she’d heard him.

  "She was my responsibility and I let her down," Ava then said, "why couldn't I resist the demon? I- I couldn't save her." Sam put his hand on her shoulder and she was torn away from her thoughts.

  "Hey, don't you put this on yourself; you were possessed, no human can just snap out of that." Ava was silent for a moment,

  "I would wish they knew that,” she said. “All I want is just to tell them that I love them, and that I'm sorry." A few tears fell from Ava's eyes, and to Sam's surprise, she leaned toward him and buried herself into his chest. He raised an eyebrow, but then wrapped his arm around her and hugged her. Something told him, the girl had needed that for months now.

  After some time, Ava sniffed and let go.

  "Sam, I have no idea what to do when I get to my aunt's." Ava confessed wearily. "The cops are still after me, and there's no way my aunt wants 'Ava the murderer' living in her house." Sam frowned thoughtfully and then said slowly,

  "Yeah, maybe we can help you with that," Ava looked questionable at him, but he didn't notice, "were there any witnesses at the crime scene?" Ava shook her head,

  "no...” she hesitated, “but my prints were on the murder weapon." Sam nodded and thought for a moment,

  "Don't worry about it, Dean and I will take care of that." Ava looked surprised at him,

  "What? How?"

  Sam smiled, "let's just Dean and I have a special bond with the FBI." Ava looked confused at Sam, not knowing if he was joking or serious. "We should go," Sam then said and put his hand on Ava's shoulder. “Dean gets kinda cranky if he has to wait for his breakfast for too long."

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

  They had been out there for what seemed like forever now. Ava was stuck inside the motel room with nothing to do but worry about her headache while Sam and Dean had been outside discussing _things_. Ava had agreed that Sam could tell Dean about her past, but the way the brothers'd looked at each other when Sam and Ava had returned with the breakfast, made her guess Dean already knew it.

  Now, they were outside discussing how to sort out the mess. Ava was nervous. The breakfast seemed misplaced in her stomach, her fingers were tingly and sweaty and her headache was getting worse. Maybe her body was just trying to tell her that she shouldn't go. Maybe she should listen. Ava put the thought away, thinking she should have faith in whatever plan Sam and Dean came up with. The pain stung right behind her eyes, and Ava groaned while she tossed herself backwards on the couch. If her head would just stop hurting, she could concentrate on failing at being a normal teenager. Maybe she was having a migraine? Was she even old enough to have a migraine? What if it was brain cancer? Ava snorted at the thought. After all the crazy stuff that had happened to her, cancer seemed almost too normal. No, something told Ava the headache was cause by something bigger, something darker.

  The motel room door opened and a stream of light brightened up the dim room. Ava glanced up at the two brothers entering and got to her feet expectant. 

  "Alriight," Dean said enthusiastic and slammed the unstable kitchen table. "Congrats; you are now officially a noncriminal teenager," Ava widened her eyes in surprise and excitement, 

  "Really?! But- how?!" Dean pulled a badge out of his inner pocket and showed it to her.  

  "Just got a little help from our friends," Ava looked at it with awe and confusion turned her gaze from Dean to Sam and back to Dean.

  "is this- are you- ?" 

  "it's fake," Dean cut her off, "but it's what's going to give you your life back." Ava nodded understanding and Dean continued, "so here's the deal; you were kidnapped by some guy who killed your family. You escaped a few weeks later though, and have been on the run ever since. You never saw his face or heard his voice but you guess he was a white middle-aged male who, btw, made you touch the murder weapon to get the prints on it. Last time you saw him was two months ago in Missuori." Dean looked seriously at Ava and she nodded slowly. 

   "got it." Dean kept his eyes on her for a short moment to make sure she understood the importance of the story, but then moved his head to face Sam. 

   "Okay, let's go." Sam smiled quickly and nodded in agreement, and 10 min. later they were on the road. 

 

 

  Ava looked out of the window without noticing the fields and houses they passed. Her head was killing her and she could feel the blood pump through it in steady but painful dunks. 

  Dunk. 

  She was feeling sick. 

  Dunk. 

  Like her head would explode any minute. 

  Dunk. 

  She had never felt this bad before. 

  Dunk. 

  Dunk.

  Dunk.

  "Ava, are you alright?" she glanced up and met Sam's worried eyes in the rearview mirror. The sound of his voice made her head hurt, and she wanted to slit his throat. Ava closed her eyes. What was wrong with her? 

  Dean glanced shortly at her pale face before returning to the road. 

  "Hey kid, this is all very sudden, I get it; if you need a break to talk things through, just holler okay?" Ava nodded and clutched her head in pain. 

  "I'm fine," she managed to say but neither of the brothers looked very convinced. Without Ava noticing it, they were having a silent conversation of whether or not to do something about Ava's sickly behavior. A sigh from the front seat revealed that the subject had been dropped. For now. 

  They kept driving. For 5 hours they kept driving without a single stop. 

  Ava's headache was a little better but she felt restless. Restless as if a dark force was moving within her and it made her uncomfortable. The blood in her veins was tinkling, and she wanted to hurt someone. Ava took a deep breath. /Focus. You’re not that bad. Everything will soon be fine./ Even though she tried to calm herself, she couldn’t hide the blooming urge of hearing screams and seeing pain. For every minute it got worse, and after hours of sitting still, Ava needed it like a drug. She clenched her fits and felt her heart beat. Whatever was going on with her, it terrified her, made her want to get away from herself.

  A sharp pain shot through her skull and the female voice spoke clearly in her mind. 

  _come on_ Ava took a deep breath while telling herself not listen to the voice. 

  _don't be afraid_ No! Don't listen to the voice. 

  _you think you're strong, but you're not._ don't listen, don't listen 

  _People pity you_ don't listen don't listen don't listen. Ava squinted her eyes hard and felt as she was going to have a breakdown. She needed to get out of the car. To get away from people and herself and the voice inside of her-

  "What d’you guys think about some grub?” Dean suddenly said, “I'm starving." Ava looked up completely forgotten he was there. Then she took a shaking breath and looked out of the window. She could manage. She was strong, and she would keep herself together until she got home, and then everything would be fine. Ava repeated it in her head, convincing herself it was true. 

 

  On shaking legs she left the car, feeling like she was under water. The brothers were eying her nervously, but Ava didn't notice. It took all of her power to keep her lust down. She was struggling to resist. It seemed so easy and she wanted it so bad, and something told her the horrible headache would go away if she just gave in and killed someone. 

 

  Dean rested his eyes on Ava’s pale face for a moment, when she turned down lunch. He looked as if he wanted to reject her choice but changed his mind and dropped the subject. Ava silently thanked him for not putting up a fight; she was sure she had been able to hold back her aggressions otherwise.

  The wait was tensed. None of them spoke, but they all seemed aware of forced silence.

  When the food arrived, Ava was sure she was going to be sick. The smell of grease made her stomach turn and the tension was too much.

  “Ava, are you sure you’re alright?” She heard Sam say, “You look pretty bad,” Ava held her breath and clenched her fists. This was too much. If she was around them any longer, Ava was afraid she would lose control.

  “I-I gotta-,“ was all she managed before she went to the restroom.

 

  Ava shut the door and looked around on shaking legs. The restroom was kinda nasty. Two of the lamps had gone out and the lighting was dim. At least that hid how dirty the floor and sinks were. 

  Ava walked to the greasy mirror and tried to focus on her reflection. At the sight of herself made a grimace. She almost couldn't recognize the girl starring back at her. Months ago, she used to be attractive. Guys would complement her curvy body and her bright and happy face. Now, she looked sick, dying even. Her pale face, the sunken eyes, spilt hair and that look in her eyes like she was in pain.

  Suddenly, the voice in her head began laughing and Ava groaned and clutched her head. 

  _Look at yourself. How pathetic._ The voice kept laughing insanely, and as it did, her head hurt as if the skull was being fractured. Ava barely noticed that she emptied her stomach in the sink because all she sensed was the voice and it’s laughing and taunting and screaming, and Ava let it; she was too exhausted to shut it out. 

  "Ava?" Ava stopped coughing down the sink and moved her eyes to see Sam's worried reflection in the mirror. At the sight of him, Ava felt adrenalin shot through her body. She wanted to see blood, to hear him scream, she wanted it so bad, she couldn’t resist-

  "This is the Girl's room, Sam." Ava managed and moved her eyes back to the sink; she couldn’t look at him. She heard him say something but she didn’t know what, because in that moment, another wave of dizziness got her, and she began hacking up stomach acid. 

 "Hey. Hey!" Ava didn't realize Sam was at her side before he touched her, and when he did, Ava's head and body exploded in pain. She screamed as if she was ripped apart and all she sensed was executing agony in every part of her body. She was losing control and she felt how she was locked away in her own body, defeated by a dark energy.

  Ava knew she was back in her old nightmare. 

  As she opened her eyes, she saw a pair of pit black eyes stare back at her in the mirror. She saw Sam's shocked expression and she wanted to apologize, but the demon didn't let her. As it turned around, she turned with it, and as it opened its mouth to speak, Ava's voice was the one that came out. 

  "How nice. I was getting bored in there." the demon looked at Sam and smiled. "Winchester, I have been looking forward to this for so long." Then it jumped at him. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

The room was dim. Heavy curtains were covering the windows preventing bye passers any glint of what the motel room was hiding. Inside, the floor had been cleared and a pattern of spray paint- looking like a deformed star- covered the floor. Inside the spray painted star, a scrawny, greasy haired girl was tied to a chair. She was moving uncomfortably- about to wake up, but the two brothers standing in front of her did nothing but glare at her. Their expressions were hard and cold and they looked like they had just been in a fist fight. The taller kept an ice bag over the left eye which was swollen and red.

  Dean shook his head impatiently, picked up a cup of water and threw it at Ava’s head,

  “Hey!” he barked at her, “wake up!” for a moment nothing happened. Then her head, which had been hanging limply down from her body, began to move. Ava slowly moved her head up and looked at Sam and Dean with shiny black eyes and a smile on her lips.

  “Oh, I’m awake,” the demon said in a sweet and self-satisfied voice. “more awake than I have been in a long time, and I must say Dean, it feels reeal good.” Dean looked grimly back at the demon.

  “Well, I’m not sure Ava feels the same way, so how about you leave her body, right now?”

  “Hmm sweet.” She taunted, but seemed uninterested in the request. “You know I was going to kill you right?” She said instead, “That was the plan right from the beginning.” Sam rolled his eyes in annoyance and snorted but was cut off by his brother.

  “Good plan, didn’t seem to work out though. What went wrong? Run into some puberty problems?” Ava laughed at Dean,

  “oh no, this girl has no power over me. She’s rather weak actually,” The demon slowly moved her eyes to look and Sam, “must be from the many months of loneliness and anxiety. I can’t imagine how broken she must be. Pity” Her eyes gleamed at him and Sam knew she was mocking him. He looked at Ava with distaste and his voice was cold when he spoke,

  “Why did you stay in her? Why make her believe she was rid of you for almost a year?” The demon shrugged,

  “because it’s fun. Mostly. I like humans when they are lost and miserable. The way they start to hate themselves- it’s very entertaining you know, but as I said before,” Ava said with a self-satisfied smirk, “to kill you was always the biggest part of the plan.” Dean glared at the demon.

  “What plan?”

  “can’t tell, sorry.” She answered quickly in a cheerful voice. Dean growled, losing his patience. In rough movements, he took something shiny off the table and walked to Ava in two steps.

  “Listen up, douchebag. I’m not here to play games, you answer the questions or you get smited, those are the rules.“ The demon looked nervously at the demon knife Dean was holding up against her throat as if it were poisonous. Then she smiled nervously and laughed,

  “ah ah, are you sure you want to hurt sweet little Ava now? What has she done to deserve such a fate?” Dean didn’t move.

  “Dean-“ Sam tried but was cut off,

  “Sam, we don’t even know if the real Ava is still alive. 10 months is a hell of a long time for a demon to keep a body alive.” Sam sighed, not liking where the situation was heading,

  “Just think this through Dean, please, there are other ways.” Dean kept still for a few for moments, then lowered the knife with a growl and turned away. Ava smiled slyly,

  “Good boy Dean, listen to your little brot- ugh!” he had hit her right in the face with such a force he almost turned over the chair Ava was tied to.

  “Dean!” Sam shouted disapprovingly, but he didn’t regret it. It felt good to wipe that smile off her face.

  “What plan” He asked again but the demon snorted

  “you really think it was going to be that easy? You punch me, and suddenly I’m all words?” She shook her head, “No, you’ll have to do better than that,”

  “Thanks for the tip,” Dean said and picked up a bottle of liquid. Ava screamed and groaned and yanked the ropes when Dean splashed holy water in her face. Nothing helped though.

  “I think you better answer my brothers question” Sam said broke in “Or it’s gonna get a whole lot worse” Ava smirked,

  “are you sure you can handle it Sam? I know how you feel about this girl. You feel connected to her, understand her pain- ARGG!” Ava screamed again when more water came on her,

  “Stop blabbing and start talking” Ava growled and her breathing was heavy with pain,

  “It won’t work” she groaned “You’ll never find someone who’ll talk. Not with the bounty out there.” Sam raised his eyebrow,

  “Bounty? What bounty?" the demon smirked

  “guess you’ll never find out- AARRGG!!”

  “are you sure about that?” Dean demanded. Ava scoffed but grimaced in pain,

  “oh you can’t break me with holy water. It hurts like hell, sure, but imagine how they'll torture me if I talk. No, it’s not worth it.”

  “Who’ll torture you? Who’s your boss?”

  “I think I’ll pass” Dean gritted his teeth in frustration. Ava eyed the knife, then looked at Dean like she was playing with him,

  “Come on." she smirked slyly, "Use the knife, I know you want to,” she tempted, “and then I will listen as Ava screams and enjoy how she suffers.” Dean's grip around the demon knife tightened, and Sam sighed in disapproval.

  “Dean, come on." he hesitated but then threw knife back on the table when Sam kept his eyes on him.

  "oh well, it was fun to see you try." Ava said with a shrug, "so are we done here? 'cause, you know, I have other things to do." Dean glared back at her, anger written all over his face.

  "we're gonna find out you know. If not by you, then by some other trash demon."

  "hmm yeah, if that was a threat, it didn't work. I really don't care if you know or not, and I couldn't care less about other demons; it’s not my problem." Sam scoffed and picked up an old book,

  "guess you won't mind going back to hell where everyone knows you had a chance to kill the Winchesters but didn't." Sam said with a snort, "oh wait, that  _is_ your problem." Ava looked back and forth between the two brothers and her expression shifted from wry to nervous.

  "wait, hold on," she laughed nervously, "are you sure that's a good idea? You don’t even know if the girl’s still alive!"

  "you were the one who had 'other things to do'" Sam said and began reading,

  "wait, no, no!" she began grunting uncomfortably, and as a last attempt, she looked desperately at Sam with a vulnerable expression. "Sam, stop, please stop it hurts so bad!" Sam knew it wasn’t Ava talking though, and he only rolled his eyes and continued the reading.

  Soon, black smoke began pouring from Ava’s mouth, and the demon screamed as more and more of its constance was sent back to hell. Then Ava went silent, and her form hang limply from the chair where she was tied. She was pale and her eyes where closed, and for a moment, Sam was scared she wasn’t breathing. Dean looked nervously at his brother and then walked to check on her.

  “She’s alive,” he said and Sam sighed relived, quickly helping him untie Ava and carry her over to the bed. Once in the bed, Ava moved her head slightly and groaned.

  “Hey,” Dean tried, “hey! Ava, can you hear me? Are you hurt?” She opened her eyes and looked around disorientated for a while, then tried to sit up but was pushed back down by Sam.

  “I-I’m fine, I think,” she stuttered confused and looked around in the room. Then, suddenly, it all seemed to come back to her and she looked frightened at the brothers. “I’m sorry!” she exclaimed, “I’m so sorry, I tried to stop it, I really did! But-“

  “Hey, Hey!” Sam broke in, “This is not your fault, Ava! You couldn’t have done anything to stop that demon,” Dean nodded in agreement,

  “and hey, no one’s hurt. The demon’s gone, and we’re all good, right?” he assured her but Ava still hesitated- wanting to believe Dean’s words, but sensing that something was wrong.

  “n-no,” she said instead to her own surprisement and Sam raised an eyebrow. “There’s something wrong- I-I can’t remember…” Sam and Dean looked puzzled at each other, but then Sam tried hesitatingly,

  “Is it something about the demon? Do you remember anything it’s said?” Ava frowned and tried to sit up again but kept silent. Then, slowly it seemed as though she began to remember.

  “The bounty… I-I think someone wants you dead!” Sam and Dean looked at each other and Dean shrugged. “hmm, yeah, that much was pretty clear. Do you remember anything else? Do you know who put the bounty on our heads?” Ava looked lost and shook her head.

  “I’m not sure, everything seems so blurry” she said slowly, “but everyone was talking about it. I think a lot of bad  _things_ are gonna come after you, not just demons.”

  “Do other monsters know about the bounty too?” Sam asked worried, “how long has it been out there?” Ava shrugged.

  “Not for long” she said and looked up at Sam, “the demon lied when it said it had been planning to kill you right from the beginning.” Ava paused, “I think-“ she then said but hesitated, “I think you should go into hiding.” Dean huffed and shook his head,

  “yeah, we’ll see about that” Ava starred disbelievingly at him,

  “but you’ll die!”

  “Ava, don’t worry about us," Sam told her, "we’ve been in much deeper troubles before and gotten out of it- it’s yourself you should worry about. If the monsters know you’ve had contact with us, you’ll be the first they come after while looking for us.” Ava shuttered. She was stupid when she thought she could have escaped this nightmare. Once you were in, there was no real way out.

  “So, I’m gonna die,” she said looking like a lost puppy. “Eventually I’m gonna die, right?”

  “hey,” Sam said sternly, “you know we won’t let that happen to you, yeah? We’ll find a way to protect you.” He insured her, keeping eye contact with her, “we will.” Ava looked down at the bedding and began picking at her sleeves. Something told her that would be a hard promise to keep.

 

                                                                                                                        ***

  The three of them agreed the safest place for Ava would be with her aunt after all. If she stayed with the brothers, she would have to get used to getting attacked by monsters- something she would rather avoid. And with the right warding and weapons, the Winchesters assured her she would be somewhat safe. That was, according to Ava, good enough. She just wanted to go back to what family she had left.

  Soon, they were all packed up and back on the road. Ava had had a big meal (she was surprisingly hungry after all that demon talk) and was now sitting in the car with an ice bag over the eye where Dean had punched her. To Ava’s amusement, he did seem a little embarrassed when he apologized, but Ava understood; she would’ve punched herself too if could have done so. Sam gave her an amulet which protected her against ever getting possessed again if she wore it at all times- even in the shower. Then they told her about demon traps and salt at the doors and windows, silver knifes and hundreds of other things that would keep her and her aunt safe. With that followed a bunch of phone numbers that maybe worked sometimes, and the address of some old guy who lived in Sioux Falls, and could help if everything else failed.

 

  Finally, after what seemed like hours, they rolled into the parking lot of a police station, where they were meeting with the sheriff and Ava’s aunt to sort out the mess. She was nervous, almost anxious. What if they didn’t believe her? If the still thought she was the murderer, or wanted to lock her up? And what about her aunt, did she even want to adopt a screwed up kid like her?

As if Sam could read her mind, he smiled halfhearted and gave her a reassuring glance.

  “Hey,” he said to get her attention. “You’ll be fine. I’m sure your Aunt has missed you.” Ava tried to smile back but it ended up like a grimace. Who would miss a murderer?

On stiff legs, Ava excited the car and moved towards the two glass doors reading _Police Station, emergency: call 911_. In her reflection, she saw the tall brothers behind her with their fake FBI robes. Hopefully, this would go just fine. Right? Ava took a deep breath with a beating heart before entering the station.

She was overwhelmed when middle age woman with red colored hair and a choppy form threw Ava into her arms. Ava’s aunt was crying and hugging her tight and that almost made Ava cry herself. She didn’t realize how much she had missed the feeling, and now, as she was buried in the arms of a woman she had known all of her life, she felt security for the first time forever. She felt like a little kid again. The joy didn’t last long though. The hug was broken up by a police officer who told them to follow along to standard procedure. Ava raised an eyebrow wondering how there could be a standard procedure for “tricked! Not a murderer after all”-cases, but she did object. She couldn’t be more happy about returning home, and more importantly, returning to a home with a family who actually loved her.

The “standard procedure” took some time. Of course there was the hearing, but Sam and Dean were smart, and it wasn’t hard for Ava to act traumatized and confused considering all she had been through. After crying a few times, the police officer looked pitifully at her, and sent her over to the medical to take some test.

When she was finally allowed to go, her aunt stood outside with an extra coat for her and smiled.

  “I’m glad you’re here little Ava, I’ve been so worried about you.” She said, hugging her niece once more and began crying again. “When I was told what had happened, I was so scared for you. I knew you could never do such a thing.” She kissed Ava on top of her head and chuckled at her own tears. “come on now, let’s get you home.” Ava nodded grinning hesitantly, but then stopped when she saw the old black car where Sam and Dean sitting.

  “I-I’ll be back in just a sec.” she said, and then made her way to the car. The window was down, and Sam looked over when he heard her coming.

  “Hey,” he said and stepped out the car. “Ready to start over?” Ava nodded and sighed,

  “yeah, I think so.” Then she looked as Dean stepped out on the other side of the car and nodded at her.

  “You take care of yourself now. Remember the wardings and charms and you should be fine.” Sam nodded in agreement,

  “Otherwise, we’re just a call away.” Ava smiled and felt like she was saying good bye to more than just to men she’d met a couple of days ago.

  “Thanks Sam,” she managed to say, “thanks both of you. You saved me back there, you got my life back, and I have nothing to repay with.” Dean shook his head,

  “You don’t owe us anything, kid. If nothing, you warned us about a whole lot of upcoming pain in the ass.” Ava grinned

  “Yeah, well, thanks anyway.” She smiled and was about to turned back to her aunt when Sam stopped her,

  “You know, if you ever need to talk to someone about all of this, you just call, okay?” Ava nodded but felt relived in some way. It was going to be hard to put the last 10 months behind her.

  “I will,” she insured him and looked at both of the brothers one last time before walking back to her aunt who was waiting for her.

 

                                                                                                                              ***

  “So,” Sam said as they were back in the car. “Bounty, huh?” Dean sighed looked at him.

  “Nothing we can’t handle. All I need for now is a beer or ten and getting laid tonight.” Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes, but still couldn’t shake off the feeling that this was something bigger. Dean looked at his brother’s annoyed face and grinned halfhearted,

  “come one Sammy,” he complained, “let me have some fun and stop worrying about some dumb demon deal.”

  “but maybe we should worry? I mean, we have no idea what kind of deal it is, or who are after us. This could be serious!” Dean sighed, not wanting to think about it for now,

  “okay, even if it is serious, there’s no need to stress. We’ve taken care of worse, and we’re gonna take care of this too.” Sam frowned and looked grim, but didn’t answer. Dean shook his head and started in the engine,

  “let’s go. I could go for a burger, what do you say?”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this over a long periode of time, but I hope you like it! I'll try to upload soon!


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